The real 'personal reason' Nadal has decided not to play Paris Masters

Hello sheeple,

I have news. The French authorities have banned me from travelling to Paris-Bercy for reasons which are as of yet unclear. In my fury I declared war on France, at which point the French army immediately surrendered. However the issue is for the next 2 weeks my North Korean army are on their annual vacation skiing in the mountains, and I wouldn't want to deprive them of their well earned fun. So I'll have to think of invading France a bit later.
Anyway in the meanwhile this means I can't access France at all, nor can my North Korean ambassador. I was getting a bit bored of Paris anyway, why does it have a Slam and Masters 1000 anyway, it gets too much for one city. The bad news is that without my presence Nadal has next to no chance.
When people talk about on court coaching, they refer to Toni scratching his head as some sort of symbol. In reality that's just because he has an itchy head. Actually it's me who delivers the on court coaching. When I take off my sunglasses that means 'play to the backhand', when I cough that means 'moonball even higher'.
Without these invaluable messages, Rafa has no chance of winning Paris-Bercy. So therefore both myself and Nadal's head scratching uncle decided that there is no point in Nadal making the trip to Paris. We've all visited Disneyland many times and the queues for the rides are too long.
So that's Nadal's 'personal reason'.

Take Care,
Kim Jong-un